... if it wasn't attached

So. I'm at Albertsons today, picking up a prescription, and getting miscellaneous groceries and sammich makings for tonight. I pay for my Rx at the pharmacy, then proceed to the self-checkout. Scan + bag everything, get $10 cash back, and head over to the customer service desk to exchange the $10 for a roll of quarters.

While I'm waiting for the woman in front of me to buy 3 bottles of Midori, Anita — the cashier who was overseeing the 4 self-check stations — asks me, did you have a prescription? Dang! I'd set it aside while I was scanning the rest of the groceries, and had forgotten it. But it was ok, Anita had returned it to the pharmacy for me. No problem. Thanks, Anita.

The girl behind the customer service desk is very apologetic, she is out of quarters, maybe one of the cashiers has some? Ok, as I turn away to go pester them, I realize I forgot to scan my Albertsons savings card, thus overpaying for the on-sale-for-savings-card-members bottle of tequila I just bought. This isn't chump change, people. Those Albertsons folks are serious about their liquor discounts for savings card-holders.

So, I tell Anita I forgot to scan my card, is there any way I fix this? She says, yes, she can refund my order, but then I'll have to re-scan everything. Great. But first, back to the pharmacy to pick up my Rx. Okay. Got that. Back to Anita's little command station.

She is entering the items off my receipt, when another worker walks by and hands Anita my wallet, which had fallen off her little counter area onto the floor. Oh. My. God. Apparently, I am incapable of holding on to anything today. I thank the drive-by-wallet-returner-worker guy profusely.

Suddenly Anita gasps. I look up, and the last item she entered, up on the register screen, says credit: $3600.00. Oops. She gets the special keys and tries to fix it. Another $3600 credit. So she calls over Tito, one of the managers. He boops and beeps things and... another $3600 credit. So, by now Albertsons owes me almost $11,000. They joke: I should just move into the store and live there, since now I'm rich. I apologize: if I'd remembered to scan my fricka-fracka card, none of this would be a problem. The automated voice ("Please! Scan! Your! First! Item!") at the self-scan even reminds you to do it. "Have! You! Scanned! Your! Albertsons! Card?" No! I! Forgot!

Tito gets things squared away, Anita finishes the refund, and I go back to re-scan + re-bag everything. I'm halfway out the door when I realize, I never got the roll of quarters. Arrgh. Back inside, I ask Anita, who has no quarters, then over to the next cashier, who has no quarters. What, is there a quarter shortage? Then she tells me to go see Tito, the manager, who happily gets me my roll of quarters.

But it was all worth it, because now I can do laundry and drink margaritas (although not necessarily in that order). And, because I got to see this car in the parking lot: